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=Waltz-With-Me

floundering coffee bean.
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About Me Official Beta Tester Pseudo-Intellectual Jules16/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Goodnight Saigon -Part One-

The rest of the story, a romance set in Vietnam in the late 1960s, can be found in my gallery. :aww:

Critiques

Mark   
Your love and lies to me  Were a sweat wine.  
And I, your alcoholic,  Giddy with intoxication.   
As all unhealthy habits must end,  So must this.  I must clear my head of you  And walk a straight line into my future.   
But how do I give up  My truest love?  The love that comforts me,  The love that dashes me to pieces.  
 
You say I am strong.  Here’s my strength:  To leave you behind  And carry on happily,       Without you.
To Mark
by =january77

First stanza: Your love and lies to me Were a sweat wine. I absolutely love the image of "sweat wine." It's strong, it evokes em...

VIEW CRITIQUE
You there, painting the colours and the shapes  You there, upon the gilded stage  You there, with the rings around your eyes  You there, turning the darkness into starlight   
Will you dream for me?  Will you dream for me?   
You there, painting the colours and the shapes  You there, putting it all on crackly tape  You there, with the rings around your eyes  You there, you know what is wrong and right   
Writing,  Writing dreams on the walls  Waiting,  Waiting for the toll of the bells  Wanting,  Wanting nothing more than to stay asleep  Knowing, &n
Writing Dreams On the Walls
by =Vindicta38

Hey there! I noticed some things about this song I thought I could help you improve, so I figured I'd write you a little critique...

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If only my bone-white heart were granite  like your eyes,  your ordinary brown, liquid orbs of malice.  You tell me you love me,  surely you mean my suicide  or a crowd-pleasing standing ovation.  Your voice  wishes it were cyanide,  but I mop it up without gloves  and my skin is only slightly irritated,  cracked and peeled at the knuckles  as I am ripe and harvested for such tortures.   
This is evolution.  My meat hangs tighter to my skeleton with every season.  I have learned to adapt, and what has not,  well those parts  are maggot-filled,  schl
Sean - 5
by *vespera

First off, I thought this poem had very great impact. It was the charged language, the words like "malice," "cyanide," "tortures," "sk...

VIEW CRITIQUE
Browse Critiques

Things I should feel guilty about:

Journal Entry: Fri May 29, 2009, 12:49 PM
|| having a math SAT score of 570 instead of 650, which I need to apply to my uni of choice
|| not starting online AP Calculus, AP Human Geography, and Spanish II B classes
|| forgetting to take Synthroid and birth control pill four hours apart
|| sleeping 'till 4:30PM
|| not beginning summer reading, "The Poisonwood Bible" or "The Bell Jar"
|| being hypocritical about criticising people who don't help the handicapped
|| unintentionally persuading my roommate to stop going to church
|| having an inbox full of authors' stories to edit and still accepting new work
|| eating a bagel with lox earlier
|| making a list of things I should feel guilty about instead of fixing any of the above

Current Poet-y Obsessions:

~ohsostarryeyed =Osiristhrasher06 =queenhrosie

The most helpful chick ever:

*ThornyEnglishRose

The grumpy-one gripes:

I've had my blood drawn five times in the past week. Four of which were on the same day. Unexplained abnormal levels of free T4 hormone, the cause of which could be Hashimoto's Syndrome, Empty Sella Syndrome, or pituitary cancer. Should know by tomorrow.

Counselor somehow persuaded me to confide in her that I was violated when I was six. Spent the remaining fifteen minutes of our session trying to convince her that A) no, I was not traumatized and B) no, I don't have trust issues and C) no, I do not subconciously hate my mother and D) no, I'm not going to tell my mom and make her feel guilty about it ELEVEN years later.

I ask you.

But, really, I'm pretty good. Pained and fatigued, sure, but I've been dealing with that since I first passed out back in ... what, January? Ridiculous.

Oh! And my insurance might cover getting those damn veins lasered out of my face. Woot. :D

Clubs!

:iconwriters-workshop: :iconbookreportsclub:

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  • Mood: Distressed
  • Listening to: Law and Order SVU
  • Reading: watching
  • Watching: my
  • Playing: arm
  • Eating: swell
  • Drinking: up
Skin by `ginkgografix

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Mississippi
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: M
  • Print preference: any and all! beautiful work!
  • Interests: Writing, arguing... especially when I don't have a valid point, and stage acting.
  • Favourite movie: When Harry Met Sally, The Fall, White Oleander, STAR TREK, Hedwig and the Angry Itch
  • Favourite band or musician: Ella Fitzgerald, Keane, Au Revoir Simone
  • Favourite genre of music: Jazz, alternative
  • Favourite artist: Paul Delaroche, Gianlorenzo Bernini, Sophia Leonard :]
  • Favourite poet or writer: Janet Fitch, Neil Gaiman,
  • Favourite style of art: poetry, narrative fiction
  • MP3 player of choice: iPhone? Go Apple.
  • Favourite cartoon character: Skeeter Valentine! Honk honk!
  • Personal Quote: "My computer spazzed out, so I went to get a potato and now Messenger won't work."
  • Tools of the Trade: Microsoft Office 2007
http://ughyclub.com

Are humans alone in the universe?

90%
26 deviants said No
10%
3 deviants said Yes
7 comments, Previous Polls

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Comments


=Osiristhrasher06:iconOsiristhrasher06: Jun 18, 2009, 9:55:55 PM
a random hello for you! :)

--
If you like it, suggest it for a Daily Deviation! :D
dA is for the literary arts, too.
=Waltz-With-Me:iconWaltz-With-Me: Jun 21, 2009, 1:21:57 AM
Yippee! I love random hellos!

I go on random dA spurts. :D I need to get up my dA-energy again. *looks constipated for a few moments as she tries to dA-it-up* Whew. That was hard work. But I think it worked.

Bahaha. :D

--
Join the Ughy Club!
[link]
This pseudo-club spontaneously started on a day when we were both feeling a little ugh-y. Have a look around the site - we hope you enjoy it!
=Osiristhrasher06:iconOsiristhrasher06: Jun 21, 2009, 9:45:30 AM
:) I'm glad I could inspire you.

--
If you like it, suggest it for a Daily Deviation! :D
dA is for the literary arts, too.
=Waltz-With-Me:iconWaltz-With-Me: Jun 25, 2009, 6:24:42 PM
Always! :hug:

--
Join the Ughy Club!
[link]
This pseudo-club spontaneously started on a day when we were both feeling a little ugh-y. Have a look around the site - we hope you enjoy it!
~iLISI:iconiLISI: Jun 3, 2009, 4:53:15 PM
thank you very kindly, dear <3

--
"i dare say you haven't had much practice.
when i was your age, i always did it for half an hour a day.

why, sometimes i've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
=Waltz-With-Me:iconWaltz-With-Me: Jun 13, 2009, 7:38:47 PM
you're quite welcome! my pleasure. :aww:

--
Join the Ughy Club!
[link]
This pseudo-club spontaneously started on a day when we were both feeling a little ugh-y. Have a look around the site - we hope you enjoy it!
Mood: Sociable *tinkwig:icontinkwig: May 28, 2009, 3:48:48 PM
Thanks very much for the watch. Good to meet you.

--
We all want a part in the Big Conversation.
=Waltz-With-Me:iconWaltz-With-Me: May 28, 2009, 4:30:02 PM
You're quite welcome! I look forward to reading more of your work. :aww:

--
Join the Ughy Club!
[link]
This pseudo-club spontaneously started on a day when we were both feeling a little ugh-y. Have a look around the site - we hope you enjoy it!
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